How and where does one start over when one has lost so many things that they don’t know what in the world to put their hand to first?
I have asked myself that question many times because I have had to start over so many times that this blog could only be about this particular subject and I would have enough material to keep me in blog heaven for months, if not years. So, with this first post of this series, I will focus on what I am starting over for, and not from.
I am starting over for the billionth time today because I am tired of all of the yesterdays I spent wallowing in self-pity and fear. I am weary of waiting for some kind of cosmic boom to happen so that things would be the way they used to be before I lost everything and everyone I loved. And I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of being so darned sick and tired.
A large part of me does not want to start over again because it knows that starting over takes effort and that it will most likely take quite a while before any major changes become apparent. That part of me would much rather be lazy and is not quite ready to give up the crutch called “Good Excuses For Staying Stuck in My Rut.” Fortunately for me, though, is the fact that I am the master of my own ship and I have the authority to tell myself that I am going on this journey whether I enjoy it or not. (For the record: Me and Myself said, “Heck, no, we’re not gonna go!” But I said, “You’re out of here, baby! Might as well make the best of it. Let’s go!”) Look out, world. Here I come.