Archives

Join my online community created just for you~

I would like to take a few minutes to invite you to the community forum that I created several months ago, but life and suffering got in the way and put it on the back burner, but I am ready to get back into life and I want to share that life with you and also share yours and offer you support, hope, fun, and friendship.

This online community is not about suffering. It is a place where you are free to be yourself and express who and what you are and receive validation, support, and a heck of a lot of fun. Life is not all about suffering. We are MORE than what we suffer. We are MORE than our circumstances.

I looked around for support groups where I could just simply be me and could not find any and I believe in creating what you want, thence my community was born.

Below, I have listed the topics we will be sharing and will be adding more with input from you. I know that this community will be a blessing to you and I hope you will find it to be a home away from home. Please join me here at Meaningfulsuffering~The Community and invite as many people as you can because we need each other in this world and we all have a lot to offer.

I can’t wait to see you there!

Why We Are Here~Founder’s Message
This community was created with YOU in mind. It is about you, for you, and we are with you as you go through life.
Welcome! Please introduce yourself!
Please stop in for a minute and tell us a little about yourself.
Cassie’s Chatbox-Come on in!
This chatroom is for general chit chat about life. The meaning of life, the meaningless of life, the essence of life. You know, it’s just about LIFE. Who’s chatting:
No users currently chatting

[-]
The Serenity Principle Forum
Changing What We Can
In this forum, we will explore and exchange ideas/solutions for changing the things in our lives that are within our control.
Accepting the Unchangeable
In this forum, we will share our struggles and support each other as we learn and find ways to cope, accept, and adapt to the things in life we cannot change.

[-]
Vent Until You’re Spent Forum Topics Posts Points Last Post
Rules For the Vent
Please read these important rules about venting before you start posting. This is important! DO NOT SKIP THIS POST.
Rules for the Vent
Venting
The Steam Room
Who’s chatting:
No users currently chatting

[-]
Emotional Support Forum
Rules For Support
Please read these important rules about emotional support before you start posting. This is important! DO NOT SKIP THIS POST.
Rules for Support
I Am Happy
This is the place for you to express all your happy feelings! Life is not one tragedy after another. There are many good things about life and this is the forum to share those things. So, what’re ya smiling about?:)
I Am Confused
Sometimes, we don’t know what in the world we are feeling. This forum is the perfect place for such feelings. In releasing our confusion, we often find clarity. Share with us what you are going through. We care.
I Am Afraid
This forum is the place to express your fears, doubts, and anxieities. No problem is too small nor too big to receive support and encouragement.
I Am Angry
This forum is where you express your feelings of anger. You don’t have to have a need or reason for being angry. Here we will support those feelings and give you a safe place to express this negative emotion.
I Don’t Know What I Am
This is the place to go where you do not know what in the world you are feeling, doing, or thinking. We will support you where you are, don’t worry!

[-]
The Comfort Zone Forum Topics Posts Points Last Post
Our Daily Bread
These forums will be where we share our daily lives. What we are doing, what our kids are doing…you know, our lives.LOL We are more than our feelings. I want us to get to know each other. Let’s be friends!:)

Check out and join the community

Advertisements

Suffering Teaches…Patience

Suffering is so much more than a feeling or an affliction. Suffering is a teacher and it has many counterparts that provides us with the lessons that it imparts unto us.

One of the greatest benefits I have received from suffering has been patience. The impartation of patience has not been an easy or stress-free lesson for me to learn. For in order to obtain patience, once has to be placed into the position of needing patience and that requires circumstances that calls forth patience.

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset and without complaint. That was quite a hard lesson for me to learn. For throughout my life of suffering, there were times when I complained a lot in my heart. Complained because of the pain itself, complained because of the unfairness of the suffering, complained because others seemed to be escaping the pain that seemed to ravage my soul and body on a daily basis and I became quite disenchanted with the concept of suffering and especially patience. The more I complained, the worse my cirumstances and state of mind became and I realized that I must do something different with my mindset and circumstances lest I become forever defested. And defeated was something that I determined that I would never be, no matter the circumstance of life or my body.

In order to achieve something I did not have, it was necessary for me to do something that I had not been doing before. So I purposed within myself that I WOULD NOT COMPLAIN, no matter what transpired in my life. When disappointment struck, I struck back with an attitude of gratitude and began being grateful for what I had and what I could do and began to focus only on those things. An interesting thing began to happen to me in the midst of these things. All of a sudden, patience began to give birth within me. The more I gave thanks at whatever I found myself in, the more patience I felt within me. After a while, I was able to bear up under incredibly difficult burdens and happenstances that occurred in my life on an almost regular schedule. But rather than being upset or agitated by my circumstances, I began to see the good that is in life and in my own life in particular. I began to experience true peace. Peace that was not dependent upon what was happening to my life and to my body, but peace that transcended all the trappings of a life of solitude and pain, and I discovered that I am so much more than what my body says I am. Than what my station in life says that I am.

Patience gave me the ability to withstand all the assaults of boredom, irritation, pain, and confusion that being a person imprisoned within one’s body is afflicted with on a daily basis. I was able to see the outcome of my daily battles instead of the conflicts that I fought with. I could view life from the perspective of the victor and not the victim of my life. And for that, I have suffering to thank. For, if not for this suffering, I would not have learned the patience that in the end has come to sustain me and teach me other lessons that I would not have been able to receive had I still been in a position of complaint and ingratitude.

One can only learn patience by being placed in places and circumstances that require it. It can come no other way. But once this great lesson is learned by this teacher, the benefits are far-reaching and life-changing.

Suffering teaches…patience. I thank God for this teacher’s aide.

Choking on the Cup- Part Two

This book is far more than just a book. It is an allegory, a parable, an autobiography, and life lessons, all rolled into one tale of triumph. One might ask how this can be, as it is filled with sufferings and torments and sorrows, the likes of which have caused many a soul to give up the ghost and consign them to lives devoid of comfort or freedom or peace.

The answer to that question lies in this book itself. Interwoven throughout each page is a golden thread of victory, weaved amongst the tapestry of my life and fashioned in the form of a cup. A cup of suffering.

This cup had been placed in my tiny fists at birth. And though I had not asked at the time to be the recipient of such a reward, I have come to the soul-changing conclusion that the story of my life, narrated with the assistance of suffering itself, has revealed that this cup of suffering had truly been the victor’s cup all along.

One would be excused for asking yet another question and that inquiry might simply be, “Who are you to tell this story when countless people have suffered since the dawning of time and have grappled with the seemingly unanswerable questions posed by the notion of suffering itself?”

The answer to that question lies within the vow I had made. I told God that I was willing to suffer so that others would not have to. And my life of suffering has been His response and gratitude to such a willing vessel (and that vessel was me), so that many others would be freed and even more would benefit without having to suffer themselves the various hells and torments that have hallmarked my own life.

Another reason I was “chosen” to write this story was because I was willing to tell it without concealment or embellishment. As the result of enumerable and unstoppable circumstances of life, within me was forged one who is unafraid to speak of things that most are wary of sharing or revealing for fear of ridicule or shame or rebuke. I speak aloud the very things that others are feeling but would dare not admit, even to themselves, because of the possible threat of rejection and censure. And I share without fanfare or apology the many vulnerabilities and frailties I have fallen prey to for far too many years of my life.

For it is acknowledgement that gives birth to revelation and revelation gives rise to power. And with power comes freedom.

I have used an incredible amount of artistic creativity in the writing of this book. My life story has been embellished with imagery and sometimes allegory so that you can fully appreciate the journey wherewith this life of suffering has taken me.

In the allegory portions, know that these things are indeed true. True in reality, yet using the imagination so that you, too, will feel what I felt, go where I went, and experience my life as I have known it.

Within each chapter, you will find life lessons. Read each and apply them to your own life. Every life has its own lesson to teach and we are all enriched and encouraged as we remember that, as one man, we have all endured, succumbed, and drank deeply from the cup of suffering. Yet we keep right on fighting as we each yearn for that day when never again will we have to drink from suffering’s cup.

Suffering’s Lesson #2-Suffering is Not Fun

As I stated before, suffering is one of life’s greatest teachers. The subjects taught and the lessons learned are tailored to each individual student of life. No two people will arrive at suffering’s ultimate destination in the same way or through the same methods, although suffering is universal and we experience similar hardships and difficulties.

I do not want it known that I arrived at all of suffering’s lessonpoints with great glee and satisfaction. For, in truth, many times along this journey of suffering, I have gone with reluctance, impatience, and highly pissed off.

I want it known that the joy and peace that I now experience did not come overnight, nor did some bolt of lightning or earth-shattering event occur that awakened me out of some kind of sleep of apathy and dissatisfaction to propel me into a state of perpetual bliss. I struggled for days, months, and, yes, years with quite a few challenges. Suffering had much to teach me and I had plenty of fodder in my life for it to do its work within.

I have much empathy and understanding of those who do not embrace suffering, but rather kick at it with distaste and a great sense of anger. Of those who rail against its unfairness and seeming fickleness of its fate. I understand it all…for I have felt all of those things and more.

Being a Christian, I have been one who has had to suffer many things alone because people who love God are “not supposed to” feel anger or dissatisfaction or discouragement or fear or disillusionment. During periods of great confusion, I was simply told to “trust God.” At points of doubt and discouragement because of the traumas that I was enduring, I was told that “all things work together for good for them that love God.” Instead of peace, I was filled with guilt because during those times of suffering, I was often in too much pain to conjur up feelings of trust and many times I was angry at God for allowing suffering to assault me so many times that there were moments when I hid my face from him, though I never turned my back to Him.

Throughout my life, I have heard the phrase, “Everything is going to be okay.” I would sometimes grit my teeth in anger because, at the time, NOTHING was okay and I wondered if anything COULD be okay ever again. I was not angry because people were trying to comfort me. Rather, I was irritated that they seemed to skip over the fact that until things are okay, they are not and one needs comfort in those dark periods. Because they often do not have the strength or the will to wait until okay comes. Because, sometimes, the space in between “going to be okay” and “okay” is a hell of a long time and the space is often cold and dark. I have spent my life sitting in that dark place in between others’ “okays,” holding their hand and bringing some light and encouragement.

Suffering hurts. There is no doubt about it. But there is also no doubt that it produces champions, sets captives free, and teaches one how to live a rich and a full life.

As I write this blog and my book, I am going to present the many faces of suffering. I’m not going to do it Pollyanna-style, however. I am going to be real with my feelings, the lessons learned, and the often painful and challenging ways that suffering chose to teach me its truths.

I am aware that many do not want to hear that suffering has meaning and I am very well aware of why that is and indeed have shared (and still share) some of those reasons. But I am also a survivor and now live a very happy and peaceful life and it was all due to the things that I have suffered. I will spend the rest of my life showing to others what suffering has meant to me…and one day…others will add their voices to mine and we will all sit around laughing our heads off because we now know that what does not kill us really does make us stronger.